Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
