Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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