oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
