I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
