I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
