I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
