dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There's always time for handjobs
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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