Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
