the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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