I'm eating all of the evidence.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
