I haven't been this sober since birth.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
