Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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