So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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