drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
