1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
