Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
