You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize