And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
