YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I forget how to act sober
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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