he wants to bone in the snuggie
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
