omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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