i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
