How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
