I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
