Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize