So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
