He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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