if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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