Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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