I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i am craving dick and cupcakes
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
