So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She bit a glass in half.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
