honey bunches of taint.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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