i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
