He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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