vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
