Sober January is a disaster.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We have started to decorate penises.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
