in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
