well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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