just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
a search helicopter?!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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