I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize