I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
