Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize