Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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