She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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