dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
