sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This house was built for laser tag.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
