Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize