i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
