i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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