My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize