you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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