im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
