I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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