so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
