Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
