i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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