You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
