Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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