Where are you?
In a non slutty way
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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