let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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