Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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