I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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